by Carol Ray

Created on: September 28, 2007

When you reach, or have passed, a certain age, you have a license to be yourself. You are no longer self-conscious. If you are retired, there is no dress code to which you must comply. So why be drab? Why do what others expect of you? When you are older, people treat you differently. You become almost invisible, unless you get in their way. Assistants in supermarkets ask if you need help to pack your bag, instead of flirting with you and no-one tries to chat you up in the street. So, protest. Don't allow yourself to be cast into the rag-bag of "old dears" or shoved away into a retirement park to die along with others of your ilk and miss all the fun.

I met someone yesterday in a shop - she was wearing a red silk blouse, a fuchsia skirt with black embroidery, huge glitzy rings on every finger and elegant black leather boots. "My sister says I dress inappropriately, but I don't care! I enjoy it!" she said. "That's right," I agreed, reaching for an acid green top, "Look at Zandra Rhodes! She doesn't give a damn and looks great." My companion disappears into a changing room and I waylay her before she can leave so that I can tell her about a friend of mine who joined a group of women who wore red dresses and purple hats. This occasioned a good deal of comment and their membership grew.

When you are older you have nothing to prove. One of the reasons why older women and children enjoy each other so much is because they are closer together in the cycle of birth and death. Older people are finally able to connect with the wonderful capacity that a child has to live in the moment and enjoy it. So here I am in this millennium, a woman over 40 who does not feel old, who behaves in a way that would once have seemed beyond the pale, but today is merely regarded as a tiny bit eccentric. I can sit for hours enjoying the sun or the breeze on my face without being bored or feeling guilty because I am wasting my time. I can laugh loudly without exciting comment. I can talk to anyone about anything, or be alone without feeling desperate for company. I can go on marches, support freedom movements, discover new kinds of music, read, learn new skills, play with my grandchildren, write articles like this. If this is what it means to be far older than 40, I have never been so content.

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